Making it through today

Today marks the gestational date in my current pregnancy when Blair died in my belly last year, 32+4. A lot of feelings and thoughts are wrapped up in this date: sadness that Blair didn’t get to live past this date and mental exhaustion from making sure that I stay healthy and the baby continues to grow healthy being at the top of the list. The wound digs a bit deeper as this milestone in my pregnancy after stillbirth also comes just a few days before Mother’s Day and a few weeks away from Blair’s first heavenly birthday. I just wish Blair was here in our arms, too, as well as in our hearts.

We are on track to deliver baby #4 at around 39 weeks, so we have roughly 7 weeks to go! Here I am today after my ultrasound appointment, wanting to capture this brave and scary moment.